The Euro-Trash Dirt Road Ride

Craig and I had this brain fart one day while riding and it smelled something like this-put a ride together based on a route that linked up all of the dirt roads that we know off, make sure it's long and ride like we were in a crazy mountain stage in the Giro. So Craig worked out the details of the route and because we weren't going to Mankato to race this weekend today was the inaugural day of the Euro-Trash Dirt Road Ride (ETDRR for the initiated). The one not so euro part of the ordeal was that yes sadly enough we had to drive about 25 miles south of town to get to the start. We got rolling about 11 and almost immediately we start climbing paved hills, but really the one 3 minute paved climb was going to be only one of 4 of the whole day filled with climbing. I thought about giving you'all a play-by-play but honestly there were just too many sick gravel climbs and honestly I can't remember them all so I'll hit you up with the highlights.

-Almost died going down the first gravel hill we climbed, nothing like two wheel drifting at 25+ mph

-Craig's cross bike hadn't been riding since...well cross season and the front derailleur's limit was all messed up and we didn't have any tools--the fix: used a pop tab from a Milwaukee's Best Light can on the side of the road to screw out the lower limit screw

-Did crazy 7 minute sick steep gravel climb that took us to Montana Ridge Rd, only to shoot of on a gravel equivalent that was about as narrow as a car and had corn growing right up to the road

-We were cruizing along on top of the ridge and there began to have grass in the middle of the road and soon opened up to a great view and started going down. I said to Craig, "Great view sketchy descent huh" of which he didn't heed at first until bad went to worse. You know when cars break on gravel the road develops these washboard humps in them (for all ya Wisconsinites with gravel/dirt driveways you know what I"m talking about) well as we were descending down this steep twisting loose gravel road, the road started to have the worst case of these 'washboard' bumps in it. And rightly so, because this was a STEEP DECENT one which, if paved, I would probably be riding the brakes cause of the twists and turns. So I start hittin' the brakes and hanging on for dear life. The last hundred meters of the descent was washed out and I could barely see this as I was barreling towards the end, and honestly I thought then and there I was going down. By all rights and means I probably should've. Long and short that was the sketchiest descent that I've ever done on a cross bike, and I was thanking Craig for the suggestion of doing this ride with cross tires, cause that decent would not have been possible if i was sporting the 23s.

-More gravel climbs, paved descents (thank God), finally three hours in we find ourselves in a valley trying to get to Waummandie cause we're out of water and food. Tough head wind.

-We cruize into Waummandie and find the only store in the 50 person hamlet is closed, but there is a soda machine, so Craig and I sat around slamming a 20 oz Pepsi.

-Decided to go to the local bar (the only other commercial establishment in 20 miles) for water. Sit at the bar while bikers (the motor kind) stare us down and laugh. Got the barkeep to hook us up with ice water and I order a Red Bull and Snickers and Craig had another Pepsi.

-Saw a naked man in a barn as we were cruizing along Montana Ridge Rd....totally random, both Craig and I were like, was that...did you just see...no that...yep that was... ... ... laugh

-Finished out in fine form 5 hours after our departure, 154 average heart rate, about 8 or so climbs over 5 minutes at 180+ bpm. Outside of my legs cramping, being dehydrated, having a sore ass, hungry, and sunburned sitting in the car I couldn't'of thought of a better way to spend my day.

Photo time.

Craig up the first climb of the day, derailleur limit screwed up and everything. Corn growing right up until the road starts...I think next time we do this ride we should start taking actual farmers access road double tracks over the passes-yes! Craig going up a crazy 8 minute climb that we did previously on road bikes last epic ride. After getting to the top we were both like, "how the F(*I#k did we get up that without nobs?!?"I figured if we're going to try and be euro might as well take the helmet off while climbing another 7 minute gravel climb...and being that it was 34 degrees celsius I found out it was a great way to keep the bird's nest cool!

Craig and I chillin' outside of the General Store in Waummandie sippin on some Pepsi. Craig said that the look on my face was that of a child who's puppy just got killed when we found out they weren't open. Yes notice that Craig's feet don't touch the ground.

Well that's it for now...recovery is the name of the game I guess. If anyone's interested, or man/woman enough to come on the ETDRR drop me a line...I'm thinking in the fall. Peace!